Monday, January 11, 2016

Under The Moonlight: David Bowie


“... And these children
that you spit on
as they try to change their worlds
are immune to your consultations.
They're quite aware
of what they're going through...” 
― David Bowie



It hits me in a foot-to-the-floor urgency, the visceral sadness. The hollowness that starts in fingertips and glows through bone, the despair of secrecy and the eternity of night. His passing makes me wonder what it will mean to live in a world in which his influence is something solidly of the past, no longer the present or the impossible future. 

For all of us weirdos, a leader. Someone who exuded cool in such a casual way, like he knew he didn't need to try. He let us believe there'd be hope for us in the future, that one day we'd triumph. When the apocalypse came and we were left standing, shattered, at the end of the world, we would know what it meant to belong. To humanity, to something greater than the sum of our parts. We would know infinity. 

And now, a footnote in rock history. A musical legacy he leaves behind. It's not the chest-against-the-dashboard sickness of the death of a member of the 27-Club. We can rest knowing he lived a full life, at least in comparison, but it still hurts. 

He let us indulge our 16-year-old selves a decade longer, until we could begin to grow scars over wounds, cloaking our bodies in adult, pretending we can no longer be seen for what we are. The bloody dagger of youth is something we taciturnly agree to outgrow, unspoken promises we all break. But with that music, we let ourselves shed the charade for four minutes. 

***



David Bowie: January 8, 1947 – January 10, 2016

“I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human. I felt very puny as a human. I thought, fuck that. I want to be a superhuman.” ~ David Bowie

*
It's not the side effects of the cocaine
I'm thinking it must be love
It's too late to be grateful
*
Still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild, a million dead end streets and
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet

***



Photo collage credit to: http://freedomforrockability.tumblr.com

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