Senior Spring Mix - March 2004

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

There is something wonderful about being so caught between childhood and adulthood, and something so hideous about it as well.

"No one gets out of here alive" may as well be the motto of High School. We survive but we carry the burden with us for years. A memory, always something idle, triggers it and brings us back instantly to those four years of disenfranchisement.

"Still no matter what happens, I find him always in my thoughts - haunting me. He is a ghost of my past and a girl I used to be. I just wish there was something between us, but there isn't. We walked by each other in the hallway the other day - just me, just him, and there were no words (just a look - undescribable)." ~ 4/8/04

1. J-Kwon - "Tipsy" (2004)
2. Chingy, Ludacris, & Snoop Dogg - "Holidae Inn" (2004)
3. Usher f. Lil Jon & Ludacris - "Yeah" (2004)
4. Nelly f. Justin Timberlake - "Work It" (2004)

Four popular songs from the spring which will always remind me of the start to any journey, headed south on the Merritt, in the dark.

5. Sneaker Pimps - "6 Underground" (1996)

From the Can't Hardly Wait soundtrack, a favorite movie of mine at the time (and still is). For some reason, this song evokes pink neon and sliding down the walls into oblivion.

6. Bright Eyes - "Lover I Don't Have To Love" (2002)

A song epic in its embrace of nihilism and hedonism, a song about being simply too drunk to give a fuck but in the saddest way possible. This song will always remind me of driving around North Stamford and smoking Marlboro Lights. An ode to white lines and nothingness. "It's all something to do with broken dreams and soulessness. It's all too much and not enough." ~10/12/03

7. Taking Back Sunday - "You're So Last Summer" (2002)

Some of the best - and most quotable - lyrics I have ever heard in a song. Knowing you would sacrifice it all for someone and knowing they wouldn't care and doing it anyway. Over and over again. The kind of song that evokes summer days drinking through straws and glancing over at the one you really love while throwing the straw into the grass and pouring the rest of the glass down your throat.

8. Hole - "Malibu" (1998)

A desperate tinged ode to hope and the chronic inevitablity of it all, the hopeless longing of a high school girl with too much time on her hands and too much love in her heart. What it's like to want it all and get nothing in return.

9. The Fugees - "Killing Me Softly" (1996)

The song for any girl whose ever loved a boy from afar who stood on stage with nothing but his heart laid out in front of him and a guitar. "And no one knows that I loved you buried alive." There is an innate virtue in being a musician and there is an even more pure pain reserved for the ones who fall in love with them.

10. Great White - "Save Your Love" (1987)

A beautiful but uniquely haunting love song from an album better known for bar-band anthems. "When I'm alone at night, you're all I see." "this dark, shadowy image engrained on my mind of him anI, violent and desperate up against a wall, juxtaposed with Great White's 'Save Your Love'" ~ 4/1/04

11. Radiohead - "Karma Police" (1997)

The inclusion of this song is more due to the influence of others than my own. I knew too many people who listened obsessively to Radiohead to not adopt one of their songs as my own. Naturally I picked the sexiest song they recorded, with a musicality that slinks along as it twists your world in knots. The outro refrain of the song "For a minute there, I lost myself" could describe any minute of my senior year.

12. Joss Stone - "Fell In Love With A Boy" (2004)

The inclusion of this song is a bit inexplicable (but nowhere near as much as the next song), except the best thing I can think of is that I've always had a soft spot for covers that improve greatly on the original. Especially covers that take a throw-away song with seemingly nothing lyrics and sing them in a way that the lyrics take on a whole new, intense meaning.

13. Rick Springfield - "Jessie's Girl" (1981)

The one-and-only, tried-and-true ideal song for anyone who ever watched a friend of theirs love the one they love. And I could relate.

14. Phantom Planet - "Big Brat" (2004)

Phantom Planet's latest single in early 2004. I went to 4 Phantom Planet shows from November 2003 to July 2004 and met the band. I got their autographs on the CD that this song is on. Not one of their best but it certainly sticks in your head.

15. Britney Spears - "Toxic" (2003)

Even in the darkest depths of my senior year, I never stopped loving Britney. And one of her biggest hits included on this CD is a testament to that.

16. Grease Soundtrack - "Summer Nights" (1978)
17. Grease Soundtrack - "Those Magic Changes" (1978)

Two songs from the soundtrack of the play I worked as line producer for in the spring of my senior year.

18. AC/DC - "If You Want Blood (You've Got It)" (1979)

Played in one of my favorite movies at the time, Empire Records. A great song to drive to in the dark.

19. The Offspring - "Hit That" (2003)

I remember watching the extremely odd music video to this song on MuchMusic (now Fuse).

20. Sublime - "Santeria" (1996)

The inclusion of this song puzzles me now, at 24 years old, because I don't remember a time in my life when I ever really liked it. I certainly don't now.

"I guess it's typical to cling to memories you'll never get back again.
And to sort through old photographs
of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know.
And there below his frozen face
you wrote the name and that ancient date, that ancient date.
And you can't believe that he's really gone,
when all that's left is a fucking song."
~ Bright Eyes, "Happy Birthday To Me (Feb. 15)"


Yankee Talk said…
I'm so glad Hit That made it onto this list! Further evidence that we would've been friends in high school, although that was probably one of their worst albums. There's only like 30 minutes (barely) of music on it and half the songs are just bizarre and pretty poorly written. However, that video is truly odd. I think it's the one with him just walking around and he is like a blue robot with a dog running around. Very odd, maybe they would have played that song if we saw them in Las Vegas!!!!

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